I never knew that there’d be days like this…
Teaching. For many it is a lifelong calling. A chance to mould minds, help educate the world leaders and business minds of tomorrow. To create future doctors, nurses, footballers and teachers. But if only someone had told you there’d be days like these…
1. ‘Don’t lick that!’
Having to explain to someone you work with every day why it’s not a good idea to lick the carpet.
2. Blood, sweat, tears.
Going to shops after work with various bodily fluids on your clothes (tears, sweat, snot, blood, unicorn slobber, etc), none of them yours.
3. Friends Not United
Getting a Facebook friend request from someone at work. And that someone is 13 years old.
4. High Five
Having to keep a straight face when a kid makes a hilariously inappropriate comment that you want to high five but can’t.
5. Child Genius
Telling parents that their “genius” child might not be that much of a genius.
6. Decaffeinated
Trying not to kill a small person just because you missed your daily coffee.
7. What a Member
Hearing your workload will soon double because the MP for Education is creating a new initiative to help cut workloads.
8. Lucky You
People telling you how lucky you are to have all those holidays and get to finish work at 3.30pm every day.
9. ‘What?!?’
Everyone in the classroom is laughing except you and you have no idea why.
10. Doh!
Having that realisation that there most definitely is such a thing as a stupid question.
11. Our Mageddon
Having a window on the leaders and business minds of tomorrow. And realising that we’re all buggered.
12. Woohoo!
Being more excited about snow days than children.
13. Z-listers
Explaining to kids on a daily basis that ‘being famous an’ that, innit’ is neither a job nor career path.
14. Awks
Finding you can’t switch off and still acting like a teacher at sometimes awkward moments.
15. ‘They’re everywhere!’
Bumping into students in the worst places; out on a date, buying underwear, in the same pub.
16. Germ Warfare
Spending every working day in a room where at least one person is carrying some kind of bug or germ.
17. Low-Viz
Trying to do an entire shop without being spotted like a supermarket ninja.
18. ‘Oops, my bad.’
Knowing that if you get the food allergy list mixed up on the class trip, you could wipe out half of year seven.
19. Homework
Not being able to remember a time you didn’t take work home with you.
20. Jobs Worth
Seeing MP’s on the news talking about your job, making decisions about YOUR JOB, not knowing a thing about YOUR JOB, OR BEING EVEN REMOTELY CAPABLE OF DOING YOUR JOB BUT BEING PAID TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU TO MAKE YOUR JOB HELL!
21. Laminatrix
Wishing you could spend the rest of the day laminating, rather than go back in there with ‘them’ until 3.30.
